Puzzld

Dear Everyone,

This email is to ask your assistance in locating my missing wife Dawn We Were on a wonderful trip to Australia for our honeymoon several months ago. On our way back, we had to change flights at Nairobi. With plenty of time to Spare, we decided to go sightseeing, and somehow Became separated. I had searched the city for her for several hours and then Contacted the local police to assist me in finding her. To date, all of our  Attempts to find her have been unsuccessful. I am now desperate for my lost Love and am trying to use the Internet to locate her. Please forward this Email to everyone you know, so I can spread the word on locating my missing Wife.

Sincerely,

Mr. Alan Smitten

After a few weeks search, a response from Nairobi:

Dear Mr. Smitten,

We are happy to report that we have found your wife, in a small Community, deep in the wilderness. However, it is unknown how she has gotThere, because she is unwilling to talk and discuss the matter. I regret to Report that she has given us clear indication that she does not want to Leave. We have tried for several days to coax her back to Nairobi, but she Is insistent on staying where she is. I have enclosed a photograph for you To see that she is all right, and seemingly content with her surroundings.

Nairobi Police Department



Photograph enclosed please see below…………….

I handed out 996 shiny gold stars this past week. These people got 3 or more:

1. 74ina66 [33]
2. abigvictory [29]
3. cubicle2 [24]
4. tj [22]
5. benmarvin [22]
6. BakeMyFish [21]
7. Boner_Stabone [18]
8. badbanana [17]
9. Aimee_B_Loved [15]
10. PolarBear_ [15]
11. uncpenguin [14]
12. InSoOutSo [13]
13. srslainey [12]
14. vmarinelli [12]
15. plaid_lemur [12]
16. cravenheart [12]
17. joesmithreally [11]
18. kolchak [11]
19. theduty [10]
20. smartasshat [10]
21. Stugazi [10]
22. roughdiction [10]
23. BadGopher [10]
24. JoannaOrcutt [9]
25. ruthakers [9]
26. Ja_La [9]
27. lukeinvan [9]
28. slag_mag [9]
29. MattRedacted [9]
30. mycorpse [9]
31. joeschmitt [9]
32. debihope [9]
33. pheend [9]
34. DeathBlossom [8]
35. TerryBain [8]
36. MissRFTC [8]
37. nonlinearmind [8]
38. trelvix [8]
39. ImAVeronica [8]
40. biorhythmist [8]
41. essentially_me [7]
42. Susanimate [7]
43. blobert [7]
44. Zaius13 [7]
45. UCMike [7]
46. smilinbjones [6]
47. blondediva11 [6]
48. DieLaughing [6]
49. blankslate [6]
50. idvssuperego [6]
51. giromide [6]
52. zolora [6]
53. androo [6]
54. thedayhascome [6]
55. nick [6]
56. poeks [6]
57. say_my_name [5]
58. brienis [5]
59. Jessabelle2o7 [5]
60. ninjapixie83 [5]
61. DasBose [5]
62. EricJAndersen [5]
63. chucknoritz [5]
64. squibble [5]
65. Dramatix [5]
66. jaredwsmith [4]
67. holman [4]
68. Trick_or_tweet [4]
69. kellydeal [4]
70. ninjacentric [4]
71. yhf [4]
72. adamisacson [4]
73. joeschmidt [4]
74. BlueLanugo [4]
75. sloganeerist [4]
76. MsNovember [4]
77. toldorknown [4]
78. Mela_De [4]
79. ttseco [4]
80. JeeNeeBee [4]
81. sween [4]
82. GSouder [4]
83. OverlandParker [4]
84. MissAmbiguous [4]
85. Rayke [4]
86. BrilliantOrange [4]
87. rsmallbone [4]
88. muchty [3]
89. SassyGirlTN [3]
90. robcorddry [3]
91. Sparticus11 [3]
92. fixievixie [3]
93. Dnastyy [3]
94. myracles [3]
95. yourbadhabit [3]
96. demonbaby [3]
97. twistedpfister [3]
98. yowhatsthehaps [3]
99. wifeoftj [3]
100. lisarahmat [3]
101. frostinglickr [3]
102. KnowShit [3]
103. luckyshirt [3]
104. essdogg [3]
105. some1s_sista [3]
106. scottsimpson [3]
107. ErsatzMoe [3]
108. asoulorg [3]
109. Yayaa [3]
110. adtothebone [3]
111. paul_e_wog [3]
112. DyStonio [3]
113. vmarinelliRVA [3]
114. awryone [3]
115. weselec [3]
116. Dolanite [3]
117. wildenmil [3]
118. bemnarvin [3]
119. MODAT [3]

Generated by @BadGopher for @gpappalardo. Inspired by that favorites script.

I handed out 896 shiny gold stars this past week. These people got 3 or more:

1. abigvictory [45]
2. joesmithreally [29]
3. benmarvin [29]
4. lukeinvan [24]
5. ErsatzMoe [21]
6. BadGopher [20]
7. joeschmitt [19]
8. slag_mag [18]
9. tj [17]
10. badbanana [16]
11. InSoOutSo [16]
12. Aimee_B_Loved [16]
13. EricJAndersen [14]
14. PolarBear_ [14]
15. sween [13]
16. JeeNeeBee [12]
17. Yayaa [12]
18. katefeetie [11]
19. trelvix [11]
20. DieLaughing [11]
21. adamisacson [10]
22. smilinbjones [10]
23. blankslate [10]
24. BakeMyFish [10]
25. vmarinelli [9]
26. uncpenguin [9]
27. texburgher [9]
28. lisarahmat [9]
29. crustyjuggler72 [9]
30. cravenheart [9]
31. DeathBlossom [9]
32. idvssuperego [8]
33. sortagay [8]
34. poeks [8]
35. jonathaneunice [8]
36. ShawnaF [8]
37. UCMike [8]
38. OverlandParker [7]
39. FanEffingTastic [7]
40. MissRFTC [7]
41. MattRedacted [7]
42. cubicle2 [7]
43. Tony_D [7]
44. say_my_name [7]
45. blobert [6]
46. blondediva11 [6]
47. Zaius13 [6]
48. hotdogsladies [6]
49. DyStonio [6]
50. Rayke [6]
51. toldorknown [6]
52. paul_e_wog [6]
53. KnowShit [6]
54. nick [6]
55. Knots [6]
56. srslainey [5]
57. 74ina66 [5]
58. bliccy [5]
59. demonbaby [5]
60. fireland [5]
61. robcorddry [5]
62. Dnastyy [5]
63. roughdiction [5]
64. giromide [5]
65. DasBose [5]
66. some1s_sista [5]
67. indefensible [5]
68. ImAVeronica [5]
69. myracles [4]
70. GoNowGo [4]
71. chucknoritz [4]
72. Susanimate [4]
73. datnguyen [4]
74. ladawn [4]
75. thedayhascome [4]
76. Boner_Stabone [4]
77. MamitaMojita [4]
78. Trick_or_tweet [4]
79. plaid_lemur [4]
80. pheend [4]
81. pemulis [4]
82. jaredwsmith [3]
83. Stugazi [3]
84. Dolanite [3]
85. BeccaPiano [3]
86. talks_in_maths [3]
87. LidMo [3]
88. rsmallbone [3]
89. pagecrusher [3]
90. Bizarrobama [3]
91. michaelianblack [3]
92. sloganeerist [3]
93. ladymisskate [3]
94. Ja_La [3]
95. GSouder [3]
96. biorhythmist [3]
97. brienis [3]
98. androo [3]
99. eddidit [3]
100. BeatenSquid [3]
101. annoyatron [3]

Generated by @BadGopher for @gpappalardo. Inspired by that favorites script.

@lisarahmat: I remember back in the day when people didn’t pretend to care about Iran.

Its true and its funny. I love it.

Dear Artie Lange,

Thank you for making Joe Buck look like the smug, uptight, little bitch that he is.

G. Pappalardo

I recieved 3 more nominations for t-shirts (Thank You @manofason). Here are the links if you want to vote.

Shirt 1

Shirt 2

Shirt 3

Because, maybe you will think that its funny and maybe I’ll win $500. Either way its win win for me.

beccapiano:

The Faven by Becca Illin Schmo - Now 90% More Epic!

(Inspired by @GPappalardo’s refrigerator-side vigil, eating grapes & pondering life)
http://twitter.com/GPappalardo/statuses/2113871591

Sitting on my kitchen flooro,
Facing my refridgy dooro
Thinkin’ bout ol’ Moltz and morrow
All those tweeters full of gore;

“‘Tis just Madness,” here I muttrd,”
As my toast I jammed and buttrd,
“Sitting here all knees-a-cluttrd
hunched upon my kitchen floor;
Eating grapes, with knees-a-cluttrd
hunkered down on kitchen floor:
What else is a kitchen for?

“I should be upon the Twitter
Dissing cats, or licking litter
Writing gems upon the shitter
up till 2:00, or 3:00, or 4:00 -

“Only wish that I were Favrd,
For that role, I’ve always slavered
But, alas, it’s SWEEN!” - I quavered -
“always beats me to that glor-
Tell me, FavdBot, what has Sween got,
that makes him enshrined in glor’?”
Quoth the BirdBot:  “Favrd more.”

“All the day, I’m fiercely tweeting,
Wielding wit — in truth, entreating
all who read to star me—bleating
silently within my core—

“There, amidst my odes to bacon,
cheese, and cats, and girlfriends’ fakin’,
Can you hear the secret achin’
That impels this frothy roar?
Tell me, pray you, how shall I
ascend to Sween’s exalted roar?”
Quoth the BirdBot: “Never bore.”

“Yes — though I may talk of jacking
off, or maybe of my hacking
cough, you’ll know what’s really lacking—
-awful need to hear ‘Encore!’

“Ah, those yellow stars of passion
Those are why I’m always hashin’
out these blurts intently fashioned
To impress, like mighty Thor—
Yes, each post is deftly hammered
as by that of mighty Thor—”
Quoth the Bird: “Approval Whore!”

“No!” I cried, “My quest’s not hollow!
I’ll be good! Please don’t unfollow!
Hey - I swear, I’ll even swallow!
Starring all with great amore—

“Here, I’ll share my smooth Havana’s;
C’mon, boys, to my cabana! -
…DAMN I can’t reach badbanana,
Twenty-two or even more;
How will I reach badbanana,
who keeps getting more and  more?”
Quoth the Bird: “You’re such a chore.”

Then, my poise quite nearly failin’,
Made a joke about a Shaolin
then, slam-dunked a ‘Sarah Palin’
crack— I felt alive once more!

…Sitting, calmer, gently tapping,
on the keys while nimbly crapping,
E’er resigned to ONE star clapping—
Well, there WILL be three in store—
Yes, one day I’ll reach the grail, there
WILL be three or more in store-“
Quoth the Birdbot, “Leaderboard.”

“If I but persist,” I shivrd,
“I will get there!” - here I quivrd;
“Favr will yet be delivrd
To my soul, and to my door.”

“It’s a quest, I must be plucky,
If I try, I might get lucky…
Just ignore that BritVidFucky,
Keep on truckin’ evermore;
Yes, I hate that BritVidFucky,
clogging up my Twitter floor—”
Quoth the Bird: “Yeah, she’s a whore.”

“One last plea,” I called, beseechin’,
“Just one final word you’re teachin’,
I don’t wanna be like Prejean,
fucking up with stunts galore…

“Can you just, oh please, oh Lordy,
Help me with my endless sortie
through the jungles of 140
—help me, what should I deplore?
I must know—” my voice here quavrd—
“What such things should I deplore?”
(“Are there subjects so mundane, or
tacky, boring or profane - are
there some places I should deign
or dare not venture, I implore?”)
Quoth the Birdbot: “Dumbledore.”

It ain’t over till it’s over, folks! It’s late at night and I think I’ll return to this in time and fix it. FIX REPLIES FIX REPRISE GAWD I gotta go to bed, g’night all — stars & giggles - Becca

The Faven : Super Sized

I handed out 838 shiny gold stars this past week. These people got 3 or more:

1. abigvictory [38]
2. benmarvin [28]
3. lukeinvan [26]
4. joeschmitt [22]
5. katefeetie [22]
6. InSoOutSo [22]
7. joesmithreally [21]
8. Yayaa [20]
9. ErsatzMoe [18]
10. slag_mag [16]
11. badbanana [15]
12. BakeMyFish [14]
13. blobert [13]
14. essentially_me [12]
15. plaid_lemur [12]
16. Aimee_B_Loved [12]
17. Zaius13 [12]
18. NotHot [12]
19. Rayke [12]
20. DieLaughing [12]
21. sween [11]
22. crustyjuggler72 [11]
23. texburgher [10]
24. BadGopher [10]
25. adamisacson [10]
26. UCMike [10]
27. smilinbjones [10]
28. vmarinelli [10]
29. DasBose [9]
30. pheend [9]
31. paul_e_wog [8]
32. lisarahmat [8]
33. indefensible [8]
34. tj [7]
35. bliccy [7]
36. thedayhascome [7]
37. EricJAndersen [7]
38. biorhythmist [7]
39. roughdiction [7]
40. Dnastyy [7]
41. blankslate [7]
42. pagecrusher [6]
43. OverlandParker [6]
44. FanEffingTastic [6]
45. rejecter [6]
46. sloganeerist [6]
47. srslainey [6]
48. toldorknown [6]
49. BeatenSquid [6]
50. cravenheart [5]
51. JeeNeeBee [5]
52. Ja_La [5]
53. summerjane [5]
54. firstwifeofwu [5]
55. uncpenguin [5]
56. trelvix [5]
57. annoyatron [5]
58. nyccabgirl [5]
59. Stugazi [5]
60. MattRedacted [5]
61. PolarBear_ [5]
62. rsmallbone [5]
63. muchty [5]
64. michaelianblack [4]
65. milyre [4]
66. fireland [4]
67. hotdogsladies [4]
68. smartasshat [4]
69. lonelysandwich [4]
70. emmyinabox [4]
71. neighborsdog [4]
72. emckenna [4]
73. ImAVeronica [4]
74. Trick_or_tweet [4]
75. GoNowGo [4]
76. brienis [4]
77. delfie [3]
78. MamitaMojita [3]
79. navanax [3]
80. Mela_De [3]
81. trent_reznor [3]
82. demonbaby [3]
83. ladymisskate [3]
84. DeathBlossom [3]
85. Hella [3]
86. eddidit [3]
87. frostinglickr [3]
88. nick [3]
89. 3hoss [3]
90. adtothebone [3]
91. idvssuperego [3]
92. say_my_name [3]

Generated by @BadGopher for @gpappalardo. Inspired by that favorites script.

beccapiano:

(Inspired by @GPappalardo’s refrigerator-side vigil, eating grapes & pondering life)
http://twitter.com/GPappalardo/statuses/2113871591

Sitting on my kitchen flooro,
Facing my refridgy dooro
Thinkin’ bout ol’ Moltz and morrow
All those tweeters full of gore;

“‘Tis just Madness,” here I muttrd,
As my toast I jammed and buttrd,
“Sitting here all knees-a-cluttrd
hunched upon my kitchen floor;

“I should be upon the Twitter
Dissing cats, or kidding kidders
Writing gems upon the shitter
up till 2:00, or 3:00, or 4:00 -“

“Only wish that I were Favrd,
For that role, I’ve always slavered
But, alas, it’s SWEEN!” - I quavered -
“always beats me to that glor-“

Quoth the BirdBot:  “Favrd more.”

(more to come if I find le time)

…Bust of Pallas, Go Ask Alice, something something - latuh

This is awesome. I wonder if I can get a job as a muse…

@katefeetie: I’m going to sit right here and do nothing and you can’t stop me. I’m pretty sure it would be physically impossible to.

If I had a Tweet of the Day, this would be it.

P.S. If you click her name, it will take you to the tweet so you can star it. In case you missed it earlier.